Uncommon

It’s funny how the Holy Spirit works through our lives day to day: through our relationships, the Word & our pastors.

This month my church did a series called Uncommon. God obviously knew I needed this series this month!

I didn’t realize how broken my views of relationships were until this series. My view was a lot like the world’s view instead of God’s view. Uncommon was so powerful for me that I wanted to share some of my thoughts & notes.

 “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” -Romans 12:2

Commitment

Even though people in your past may not have treated you the best, shown commitment, or hurt you Jesus is committed to us.

He’s committed to prioritize you. He’s not going to make you feel like you are last on His list. He’s not going to forget about you like other’s may have.

He’s committed to pursue you. He wants your heart. He wants you. He isn’t idle when it comes to your heart. Maybe others have given up on you because it’s too much work. He never will. Maybe others have given up on you because of your mistakes. He never will. He will never stop pursuing and wanting you.

He’s committed to protect you. He will watch over your life. He’s not going to hurt you like other’s may have in the past. He wants to protect your heart. A place to run to in times of struggle and hurt.

He’s committed to meeting you in your need. If you need boldness, he has it for you. If you need Him to show you love, He has plenty of that. His whole story is based on love for us.

Communication

There are many barriers of communication, but one that really stuck with me was negative interpretation & false beliefs. This is the part where I give past relationships power to control my present relationships. & why do I do this? I am terrified of the hurt that comes with all relationships. I don’t want to feel hurt again, over and over. When we have broken relationships they become the standard we compare all of our relationships to. I have known selfish relationships, broken relationships, and hurtful relationships. I tend to judge everyone’s heart and motives based on those broken relationships.

 “My judgments of everyone’s actions are never true, but I have trained myself to have this filter that tells me they have a secret agenda. They just want something from me. They’re just using me.” -Pastor Scott

There are also many types of effective communication. Affection, or loving and being loved by others, is one.

“If you can’t freely express love, you’re not free.” -Pastor Scott

These words are true in so many ways. You can’t say you’re free but turn around and run into the walls you put up.

For so long I have thought I am free in Jesus & have complete joy in Him. When I heard those words, I realized how high the walls around my heart have been. My joy was little compared to the joy I could have. Joy of living in love, not fearing love because of broken relationships. Joy of not worrying about being hurt & enjoying friendships.

“On the worst day you need to know deep in your heart you are loved, even when you feel like you don’t deserve it.” -Pastor Scott

I have been focusing on scripture that talks about God’s love lately. I can now say, confidently on my worst day, I know I am loved by my faithful Creator. I hope everyone can know this truth for themselves.

Conflict

Conflict comes when we have expectations of others that can’t be met.

“We expect something from other people that can only come from God.” -Pastor Scott 

MIC DROP.

How many times have you expected others to be perfect or to fix you? There are so many things we try to get from others that can only come from God. Something women tend to look for from others is worth & love. However, if we base our worth off of relationships with people it will fail. You can’t let others determine your worth. Eventually you will be exhausted from trying to be perfect & trying to not disappoint people.

We’re all broken and messy people. Relationships have conflict. Relationships have unavoidable hurt. But relationships were created for good. To lift each other up, to do life together, to share and laugh with friends.

“Relationships are dangerous but worth it.” -Pastor Scott

(Is it possible to do two MIC DROPS in one service?) Pastor Scott was talking straight to my heart.

Alyssa, isn’t the joy and love from relationships worth the possibility of getting hurt? Isn’t it time to step out and let people in without fear? Isn’t it your time to stop letting the brokenness control everything?! What if you step out and make lifelong friends who will help you succeed & follow your passion?

Influence

Pastor Richard preached for the ending of this series on influence in our relationships.

“God’s grace and healing helps us make the choice to influence people even though we have been hurt in the past.” -Pastor Richard

People might disappoint you, make mistakes, act selfishly, or betray you. But Jesus never gives up on you.

To have influence in this world, we need to have relationships. We need others encouraging us & helping us succeed. We also need to be encouraging others & pushing them to succeed. Our influence can be so powerful if we let God use us.

If I want to have influence, I need to tear down the walls guarding my heart. If I want to be an influence, I need to show others even though broken relationships hurt, they aren’t the end. We can find uncommon relationships, we can build uncommon relationships & we can be the uncommon person amidst all of the brokenness.

My heart is changed after this series & I pray I never forget the truth that has been spoken into my life. I am so thankful Jesus’s love is perfect, even though other people’s love isn’t. Jesus’s love makes me so joyful & unafraid of people’s brokenness. Knowing His love is: walking fearlessly into relationships with a heart ready to love others. It’s forgetting all the wrongs done against you because what He has for you now is so much better. It’s worth taking a bulldozer to the walls around your heart. It’s worth trusting He will protect your heart in your relationships.

If you want to hear the full message, check out the awesome podcasts for uncommon here!!

The Greatest of Loves

For a long time I feared love. I feared people seeing the brokenness, the imperfect, the failing, the ugly and the scars. I feared the rejection that would by far be the worst pain. Surly, there could never be anything worse than that. I feared if people saw me for who I truly was they would reject me and leave. But that all changed when Jesus showed me His love. It’s something I have never experienced..

He takes the brokenness, the hurt, the fear. He loves me more than I could ever love Him. His love is better than any person’s love. God’s word says love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres and never fails.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

I have had this twisted version of what I thought love was because of other’s love shown to me. I have thought you have to “earn” love and to do that you have to be perfect. So if I am not perfect I don’t deserve love. I have known a “love” of selfishness, deceit, conditions, and reciprocation.

Jesus says you don’t have to work to earn love, you don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to fear love. Why? Because His love never fails. Because Jesus loves. not how the world loves. not the broken type of love. not the conditional love. but the ultimate love. this love won’t be broken and hurtful. this love won’t bring down the person that I am. instead it will uplift me and make me stronger. this perfect love drives out fear.

16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 17 This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. ~ 1 John 4:16-18

God makes me a priority, he pursues me, protects me and meets me in my need. God has completely wrecked my view of love and completely transformed it into something so unfathomable. The greatest of loves. This is the love I will forever celebrate on Valentines Day.

Becoming Instead of Wishing

February is #lovemonth. Like a lot of girls I am single and during February that can be difficult. If your single like me this post is for you!!

This week God has been teaching me that instead of sitting around and wishing for someone to spend the rest of my life with I should be treating this part of my life being single with joy. It seems everywhere I went this week I have been challenged to focus on becoming who I need to be in God for my future husband. What God has spoken in my life this week through my Wednesday night group, my Pastor and through His Word is how important it is to not only pray for my future husband but to also become the person I am praying for.

I pray my husband would be searching for more of God. I pray protection over him. I pray that he would be patient and kind. I pray he would know how to love like Jesus. I pray that he will make me a better person and that I make him better. I pray he is familiar with grace and forgiveness. I pray for his wisdom and guidance when it comes to pursuing me. I pray for a lot of things. Mostly, I pray for the kind of person he will be.

Think of all the prayers you pray for you future husband, especially the one’s about his character. He’s probably praying for the kind of person you will be too. So while you are waiting patiently (or trying to be patient) for your future husband I challenge you to focus on becoming who you need to be. Focusing on becoming the person you are supposed to be in Christ.

I am thankful this year for this stage of singleness because I can grow in my faith and grow to be a better person for my future husband. My prayer right now is God will help me become who I need to be in Him for my husband.